My Crunchy Life

Setting Boundaries

Over the past few months, Corbin has become a lot more active. This effects every part of his life, including nursing. At first, when he'd try to do a hand stand on my stomach while still firmly latched, it was cute. After battling cracked nipples, being kneed, kicked, poked, and elbowed, it is not even remotely adorable. It's time to set some boundaries.

If Corbin got too out of hand while nursing, all I used to have to do was say a firm, "No," and correct his positioning. Unfortunately, that no longer works, and I have to put him down and listen to him cry for a minute or two while patiently trying to explain to him that Mommy's boobs are not made of elasic, or any other stretchable or moldable substance. Okay, I've only started doing this today, so I haven't had much luck so far.

I don't mind some of the gymnastics. if he wants to lay on his tummy and twist his head to the side and nurse, who am I to argue if it seems comfortable to him? Sometimes, he falls asleep in a kneeling position, with his bum in the air, and his head snuggled up to the milk factory ... me! I don't even mind him playing with my face--minus the hair pulling--because he's actually able to identify several facial features (nose, mouth, etc), and that's how he learned. But I draw the line at being a human trapese.

Corbin's temper is also on the rise, and compared to other kids his age, he isn't really all that bad. he gets frustrated more easily when he's tired or not feeling well, which is normal, but it also seems like he wants to snuggle less when he's tired, as though he can't find a comfortable position. This is when he starts to act up, and when I put him down, he becomes very unhappy.

Nevertheless, my dogged stubbornness will prevail (see Mom, I knew it would come in handy one of these years). Corbin's a pretty quick learner, I just hope my poor body can survive this initial lesson in manners.

More Milestones

Corbin got his hair cut for the first time last night.



He wasn't sure at first, but he didn't fuss or fidget. He sat still the entire time--about five or six minutes--and let the hair dresser do her thing. His new surroundings kept him interested and distracted as she snipped off his baby hair. Corbin was born with straight black hair, but at just a few months of age, the curls started coming in. Now, his whole head is curly, but he had some long, straight pieces on top.

We are staying at my parents for a few weeks. it's nice to have a break. Admittedly, it's the first time in a very long time I haven't wanted to leave and go back home. There is more drama with my superintendent, and as is typical of me, I'd rather avoid conflict than face it.

Corbin barely crawls now. In fact, he's learning to run. He will run away from me if he has something he knows, or even thinks, he's not supposed to have. It's cute now, but it'll probably get old fast. Thankfully, he doesn't seem to mind having socks and shoes on, which makes it a lot easier for me to tell where he's at. And, when I take something away from him he's not supposed to have, he throws a temper tantrum. Oh, he doesn't kick and scream and completely lose his mind, so I guess I'm pretty lucky, but he does have the most heart-wrenching cry. I'm proud of myself though, I don't give in to that cry. I'll hug him and talk to him and try t explain why i have to take something away, or why he can't play in the garbage can or the toilet, and he calms down after a few minutes and goes on his merry way. i used to nurse him when he first started throwing tiny tantrums, and it did seem to comfort him, but I figured it was a bad habit to get intol. I will nurse him if he falls and hurts himself, or if he's frightened by something.

Corbin has discovered the stairs at my parents' house, so I have to watch him very closely, or else he'll climb up them and end up on the landing with no way down. Sometimes, he scares the crap out of me, and sometimes I wish I could be that fearless again. Age and experience have taught me to be very cautious or downright frightened of some things.

Ever since he's started walking, Corbin has been eating a lot more. He actually eats breakfast, lunch, and supper with small snacks in between. He's not as picky as he once was (I don't think it was really fussiness, rather he just wasn't ready to eat solids and was geting all his nutrition from me). It usually takes two or three tries when presenting him with something new before he'd eat it, but the list of foods he likes is growing longer. Veggies are still an obstacle, but Corbin loves fruit--berries, mellons, pineapple, mandarins--he loves it all! Chicken is his favourite meat, though I haven't given him too much beef as I'm not a big beef eater myself--no pork either--and the one time I tried him with fish, he just ignored it. He loves bread, cereal, and cheese, and thankfully does not seem to have the issue with dairy that I thought he might have a few months ago. Of course, he hasn't drank cow's milk yet. Oh yes, I must not forget pasta. I should have named him Macaroni and called him Mac for short.

Corbin is still not a big eater, and he is usually very slow, but both of these traits are positive ones, I think. I won't have to worry about him choking, especially since he won't eat while playing yet, and I think sometimes we encourage our kids to eat too much when they're young. Corbin still nurses several times per day. He won't drink from a cup yet, but he has stopped nursing before nap time, and he doesn't nurse for very long except at night time. The world is just too interesting to be cuddled up next to Mom!

Corbin's top eye teeth are through. The bottom ones were close, too, but I think they receeded back into his gums because I can't feel them anymore.

And lastly, Corbin is starting to talk a lot more. most of what he says is baby talk, but he can say Mama, Deedee, gog or goggy (dog), good, and num num. Soon he'll be like the rest of my family and won't stop talking from the time he wakes up until he goes to sleep.

What Age Is It Appropriate To Breastfeed Your Child in Public

Corbin turned 1 year old this past week. Until now, I've never had any reservations about breastfeeding him in public. I never gave much thought to who might be watching, and I never went out of my way to hide myself in a secluded corner or bathroom stall when he announced he was hungry, though I did make an effort to be as discrete as is possible without the use of a nursing cover. I've nursed in cars, malls, stores, once at a junior high, at restaurants, and while walking down the street with him happily nursing while snuggled in his carrier.

Maybe I got weird looks. Maybe some people thought it was gross. Maybe others were indifferent. I didn't care what they thought. But recently I've begun to wonder at what age should I stop nursing in public.

Case in point: Today we went to Boston Pizza for supper after running errands for a few hours. I knew Corbin was hungry as he vehemently refused breakfast. He was always iffy about letting me feed him, but for the past few weeks, it's been utterly impossible to get a spoon within six inches of his face. I knew the quickest thing to do would be to breastfeed him, but instead, I distracted him with crackers and even bought him his own cheese pizza which he ate a little bit of. After that, he was content until a few hours later, and by then we were in the privacy of our own home and I had no problems nursing him.

I suppose my situation is rather unique due to Corbin's reluctance to eat. I've often wondered if I've played a hand in fostering that reluctance by giving in and breastfeeding him, though I certainly did not want to starve him, and most of the literature I read says to offer the breast first before solids, at least between the ages of 6 months to 1 year. That being said, if the situation was a bit different and he was eating more like a 12-month-old should, I probably would give him food when we were out in public more often than I would nurse.

I'm not really sure why that is. It's not because I'm afraid people will judge me; I couldn't care less if they make comments within my hearing or to my face, and they can stare all they want. I think one of the primary reasons is the awkwardness of it all. When Corbin was newborn, he was so small that I could feed him while sitting in a chair or booth at a restaurant and not be the least bit uncomfortable. However, he's too big, not to mention wriggly, to fit in a booth with me anymore. I can't even really breastfeed comfortably while in the car, though I will if I have to in a pinch. And if I'm not relaxed, Corbin senses it and becomes restless and disinterested in nursing.

Second, while he still breastfeeds for sustenence, I think a majority of the times he wants the breast are either for comfort or because he's thirsty (although he knows how to, Corbin won't drink out of a sippy cup). When we're out and about, there is just so much for him to see and absorb that he simply has no interest in cuddling with mom. If he gets fussy at all, chances are it's because he's tired.

Lastly, when he was younger, Corbin would often fall asleep at the breast. He still does this, but only at night. Or he would stay on the breast until he was full, and take himself off and that was that. Now he likes to take his time--he'll play with my face while nursing, he'll break his latch and look around to see what's going on, he'll try to nurse in some very odd positions, and sometimes he'll even let go and then once I'm all buttoned up decide he isn't finished. I'm not embarrassed by my breasts by any means, and while i used to view them as something to, shall we say, advertise the whole package, I don't think of breastfeeding as a sexual act. But I certainly don't want my whole breast exposed for just anyone to see while my son makes eyes at the cashier, or investigates the occupants of the car parked next to us. Managing a nursing toddler is a lot different than a nursing baby, and while i don't object to doing it in public, it's a lot easier when I'm in the comfort of my own home.

If he ever blatently asks to nurse in public, I won't refuse him. I don't care if he is well into toddlerhood. I think it's about time our culture accepted the concept of extended nursing, and women who make that decision shouldn't be ashamed of it or treat it as a dirty little secret. but, if it doesn't seem like he needs the breast immediately, I'll offer him food. After all, although I still want him to get a lot of nutrients and antibodies from my breastmilk, and I have no intention of trying to ween him by the time he's a certain age, he does need to learn to eat and enjoy food.

Breastfeeding From A Blind mom's Perspective

I’ve mentioned in a few previous posts about my expierences as a breastfeeding mother who is visually impaired. Wait! Rewind. … Scrap the political correctness; since I can only see light and shadows, in my books, I’m blind, and I don’t care who says it. Okay, now that’s out of the way, I thought I should share my experiences in more detail for those who are curious, and for those who may be in the same boat I was and are looking for information.

When I was pregnant, I did a lot of research. I didn’t know anything about babies—my one and only younger sibling is five years younger than I, so I wasn’t really old enough to have taken care of him, and none of our family friends or relatives ever asked me to babysit. Not being sighted myself, I simply can’t imagine the horror a mother must feel at the thought of letting a blind person look after her child. Strangely, I wasn’t afraid I would mishandle my baby, but there was a lot of information to assimilate. One of the things I didn’t research was breastfeeding positions, though I read about almost every other breastfeeding-related subject.

During my prenatal classes, which were given by a doula, I was given a doll and shown the cross-cradle hold and the football hold. It seemed easy, but I knew, as with changing diapers, that practicing on a live, squirming baby would be something else.

I was right. When Corbin was born, I had great difficulty in the first day or so latching him on. This is a common problem for new mothers and babies, and even more experienced mothers. It seemed simple enough—tickle the baby’s lips with your cipple, wait for them to open their mouth wide and then bring them to the breast making sure the nipple is well into the mouth and their lips are sucking on the areola. But how on earth was I to ticklethe baby’s mouth with my nipple, make sure his mouth was open, and then bring him to the breast and hold him at the same time when I would have to do all of this by feel? Luckily, the nurses were really good about helping me latch the baby on, and thankfully, he wasn’t fussy about latching. But I knew the nurses wouldn’t be there forever.

The lactation consultant was woefully ill-equipped to deal with this kind of issue. She instructed me to place my hand at the base of the areola, not to hold my nipple which would have been easier for me. She also did not think I should touch Corbin’s mouth to make sure I wasn’t accidentally poling him in the ear. When I asked her how would I know if his mouth was open, and how would I know I was aiming for it, she said, “You’ll just know”. And that, gracious readers, is a direct quote!

Even though she stayed for a few minutes longer, I pretty much tuned her out. I was used to professionals who didn’t make an effort to recognize that, even though I am capable of doing anything a sighted person can (no one has tested my driving skills yet), I do sometimes learn differently or I may do things differently than someone with sight would to accomplish a task. Unfortunately, some educators don’t, or won’t, think outside the box, and thus they fail a lot of people. Fortunately, I’ve learned to compensate, and I’ve pretty much lived my life adapting as necessary. So, when the lactation consultant left, I begant teaching myself and my son how to breastfeed.

Let me say that I would love to kiss whoever invented the nursing pillow. This ingenuous device not only made Corbin and I much more comfortable, it allowed to me have both hands free. I can’t understand why the LC would not encourage me to touch my son, because it is important for every mother to touch her newborn baby, not just those who can’t see them. I explored every inch of his beautiful little face. I also felt my own areolas and nipples, and when he was latched on, I gently probed his mouth and my breast and felt his jaws moving.

Eventually, I devised a system. If I were feeding Corbin on my left side, I would put my left arm underneath Corbin and around the back of his head, and vice versa for the right side. I would hold my nipple with my right hand at its base, and first make sure by gently touching Corbin’s mouth that I was indeed enticing him to latch on by tickling his lips and not by giving him an extreme closeup of a wriggling nipple. Then, I would tickle his mouth, and, when I felt it open, I would gently push him towards the breast with the hand that was behind his head. I would remove my other hand and use it to rub his back, or stroke his hair, or complete the cross-cradle position, or my version of it.

I also found the easiest positions were the cross-cradle hold and lying tummy to tummy. I could never master the football hold. I know of other blind moms who have, but neither Corbin nor I were ever comfortable when the nurses tried to put him in that position.

It took a few days for us to become comfortable with each other, but by the time I was released from the hospital, my milk had come in, and Corbin and I were well on our way to establishing a comfortable nursing relationship. In fact, it didn’t take him too long to start latching on himself.

About a day or two after my milk came in, Corbin had his one and only nursing strike. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He did latch, but he wouldn’t stay latched, and he began to become frantic he was so hungry. At 2 AM, I couldn’t think of anything elase to do but pump a bottle. I sincerely hoped this wouldn’t cause nipple confusion, and it didn’t. Before I pumped, I examined my nipples and realized they had changed shape. I thought this might be the cause of Corbin’s confusion, and the nurses who saw us for his 48-hour checkup after being discharged from the hospital confirmed my suspicions. Thankfully, Corbin began nursing regularly after that one bottle and hasn’t looked back.

As time went by, things got easier and easier. Of course, I haven’t had to help Corbin latch on for a very long time now. We still enjoy the tummy to tummy position in bed, but nursing while I’m sitting up can be challenging. Now that Corbin is older and more mobile, he wants to eat while upside-down, his new favourite position, or on all fours with his head twisted to one side and his bum sticking up in the air. My poor nipples!

I hope any LC that reads this will have some new insight into what it’s like to nurst a very young infant when the mother cannot see what she is doing. I don’t think the challenges Corbin and I faced differed greatly from what other new moms experience. We had to learn just like every mother does, and sadly, we had little support from the people who are supposed to be there for us, which is not an uncommon occurrence either.